Art history and how to avoid it. Why learn the lessons of the past? I mean, what’s done is done.
Fundamentals of art and why you don’t need them. We don’t need more rules, we need less. We’re artists.
Artspeak 101, 102, 103, 104, 105 Speak directly and plainly? Kiss of death. Learn to write indecipherably obtuse self-absorbed artist statements.
Hyperbole and you. Need to sound like you’ve accomplished something? Class will focus on the use of flowery words and puffery aggrandising.
Income? Who needs it! Satisfaction is knowing that you are doing what you love and eating rice and beans.
Creative write-off techniques. Set aside morals and ethics and learn to write off everything you have ever spent money on because you are an artist.
Zen and the art of not knowing where your next check is coming from. Why worry, be happy.
One name or three. Paintings by Lawrence or painted by Lawrence Southerby Macwallis III Unless you are Prince or Puff Daddy your name is your brand and you are stuck with it for life. Choose wisely. You can sound like royalty or like a flower arranger.
Forming Artist Unions. An oxymoron? Kitty cat round-up, know what i’m sayin?
Cheesy Promo Videos 101 You don’t have to be talented to have a cheesy promo video made. Prerequisites: Hyperbole and Artspeak 101.
Painting the figure in a floppy white hat 101-103 Also includes rural women in flower field, dappled light effects and advanced chimney smoke techniques. Prerequisite class: Smarmy painting 101, see spring schedule.
Creative plagairism How to completely rip-off another artist and own it without a twinge of guilt or remorse.
Internal Calendar If you don’t have a set schedule, don’t have a weekend, how do you know what day it is? Guess! How to learn to guess what day and time it is without ever consulting a calendar or watch. 70% accuracy assured.
Creative comebacks for artists. Example Q: $500…….. is that your best price? A: Well, actually, no. $7000 is my best price and I like the way you do business.