Kids these days. It’s like they have their own language. They’ve developed a whole series of whatever-they-call-it jargon, a kind of periodic table of quips, I call them E-cronymns (i.e. OMG= Oh My God and WTF= what the fuck?) and we, being but children wrapped in a wrinkly veneer, have picked them up. I say it’s time to rise up and confound them with our own terms, based on our years of accrued knowledge, that reflect a more jaded point of view and our stage of life. So I’ve come up with a few of these little gismos that you can use to confound those of lesser intelligence and/or age:
IDC I don’t care
SMITH Shoot me in the head
WMI Where am I?
WRU12 What are you, 12?
FT2 Funnier the first time
(U) Yes it’s all about you
SLBS Sorry, low blood sugar
iTiWM I think I wet myself
OGMPC Oh good. More political crap
MGF My gastritis is flaring
HURDI Have you READ the Declaration of Independence?
J8MN Just ate, must nap
<?> What the hell are you talking about?
AARp Another annoying republican
ICRYD I can’t read your drivel
SP Did your computer not come with spell check?
8O4B I had oatmeal for breakfast
YID Your information is dubious
Fi Fucking irony (a more advanced version of WTF)
U≠M You are no match for me
T4TS Time for the Tonight Show
BFN (bye for now)